


Let's Do It Like They Do On Animal Planet

by Causteek



Category: Merlin - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Alternate society, M/M, Multi, Nakedness, Nudist
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-16
Updated: 2011-12-16
Packaged: 2017-10-27 10:03:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/294530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Causteek/pseuds/Causteek
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU. Coming from Ealdor, Merlin wasn’t accustomed to the strange customs and fashions of Camelot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Let's Do It Like They Do On Animal Planet

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Reiya_Wakayama](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Reiya_Wakayama/gifts).



> Title: Let’s Do It Like They Do On Animal Planet  
> Disclaimer: Merlin is owned by the BBC and other associated parties. I do not make any profit from this story and the plot is purely fiction.  
> Summary: AU. Coming from Ealdor, Merlin wasn’t accustomed to the strange customs and fashions of Camelot.  
> Rating: R  
> Warnings: Explicit Slash, Nearly!Naked!Gaius, Mentions of sex.... everywhere by everyone, an extremely convoluted world which my mind has created.  
> Pairings: Arthur/Merlin  
> Word Count: 1655  
> Author's Note: Merry Christmas [reiya_wakayama](http://reiya-wakayama.livejournal.com)! Love you! This was beta’d by the loverly [happyevraftr](http://happyevraftr.livejournal.com) and the equally lovely [Spacii](http://spacii.livejournal.com) who I thank immensely for putting up with me.

Coming from Ealdor, Merlin wasn’t accustomed to the strange customs and fashions of Camelot. So, when he’d entered the kingdom to find men and even _women_ walking around completely **naked** , he’d been shocked to say the least. Things like that just weren’t _done_ in this day and age. Camelot was supposed to be a modern city!

Now, not _everyone_ was naked, but the clothes they were wearing were so revealing that it was just as bad. The women wore slings of cloth over their breasts, some of them rolled and wrapped under and over instead of covering anything on either one or both breast. Which made no sense to Merlin, if you were going to **not use the cloth to cover up** , why is it there? Actually, he didn’t want to know.

At least they wore something to cover their... there. (No, Merlin wasn’t going to think it, much less say it. He was a sensible man that respected women.) The strips of cloth that hung from a belt on their waist didn’t exactly preserve much modesty but it was there.

The men (the non-naked ones) also wore the strange belt like clothing. Merlin could only be thankful for the strange piece of clothing as to this day, he was certain seeing Gaius naked would absolutely have killed him on the spot from embarrassment. Luckily, in his old age, Gaius had taken to the strange clothing if not a **shirt**. Rumour had it that back in his day, Gaius liked to go completely naked. Not something Merlin wanted to think about.

But even worse, was the sex. You couldn’t turn a corner without finding a couple mating. Men and women, women together, men together, it didn’t matter. Camelot seemed to be built on sex and nudity. It wasn’t just the common people, no, if anything the court and the royal family were worse. He caught the King’s ward no less that three times his first week there defiling her maidservant in the halls, THE HALLS!

Then there was the King... Merlin shuddered to think about the times he’d run up on the King with a maid servant or another councilman.

The Crown Prince of Camelot, Arthur Pendragon, had never wore a scrap of cloth in his life (except when undercover or padding under his armor). As said prince’s manservant, he had to face this alarming fact daily. Arthur liked to show himself off, especially during sword practice which was... awkward. Every. Damnable. Day. It didn’t help that the court fashion was absolute nudity before marriage and only scraps after. No, Arthur and his knights ran around in barely a thing swinging swords at each other and if Merlin had never heard an innuendo in his _life_ he could have understood that one.

It didn’t help was that Arthur fucking Pratdragon was _gorgeous_ and Merlin was absolutely, unequivocally in love with him.

\----

Merlin had (eventually) noticed that Arthur was trying to get him naked and not in a way he wanted. Now Arthur had let him be for a good year but after the questing beast, Arthur had decided that Merlin needed to join court fashion. He wasn’t forceful about it. In fact, Merlin hadn’t even noticed that Arthur was trying to do that for the first year. Then all time was spent mostly dressed as they searched for Morgana and it wasn’t until that next year that Merlin even clued in on Arthur’s intentions.

Even then he’d ignored it. There was no way Arthur was getting him to walk around the castle naked. He didn’t care how much he loved the prat, it wasn’t happening.

So they had gone into stasis; Arthur would steal Merlin’s spare clothes and Merlin would find them before changing, keeping his set of clothes in sight at all times when bathing. Of course, the first time it happened, he’d only been lucky to see Arthur trying to sneak into the room. Arthur had only managed to grab Merlin’s shirt and Merlin had been forced to chase him across Camelot in order to get it back. (“ARTHUR! GIVE ME MY DAMN SHIRT BACK!” “WHY!? YOU DON’T NEED IT!” “AARGH!”)

Arthur wouldn’t be winning this one! Merlin already let him get away with far too much as it was when Arthur pressed his naked body against Merlin’s side during the day to whisper in his ear. Merlin knew that if he wasn’t fully clothed, the prince would get away with murder.

So he resisted, and he did it well. Merlin didn’t sleep with him so he wouldn’t steal all of his clothes and burn them (which Arthur would try)

He resisted right up until Arthur was standing there before the whole court in nothing but his new crown and red cloak, a particularly evil smirk pointed right in Merlin’s direction.

By the time they made it back to Arthur’s room after his coronation, Arthur’s erection was bobbing between his legs. Merlin was not unaware that his new king was eyeing his arse speculatively; however, he was unaware of the plan Arthur had for his arse.

He set about turning down the bed while the blond placed his crown in its’ case. Then Arthur came up behind him and pressed into his back, cock neatly fitting against Merlin’s buttocks.

“I think it’s finally time we stop playing this game of ours.”

Merlin sucked in a breath as he felt Arthur _press_ his hips against Merlin’s rear. Quickly, in a maneuver he didn’t know he could actually do, Merlin spun them round and made his way across the room to the window. Arthur frowned at him from beside the bed before moving closer.

“Your Highness, I don’t think that is such a good idea. I’m a servant, and you’re my king but you’re also my friend.” Merlin’s hands rung together just to have something to do. “I don’t believe it wise to... do what you are insinuating.”

For his part, Arthur just looked amused, one brow quirking up in silent question.

“Merlin, we both know that is not all we are. You have been by my side, dressed for some unfathomable reason, supporting me since you got here. Not to mention tempting me with all that covered skin. It’s just not fair how gorgeous you are. We both know that by the end of the week you’ll be my official advisor, and that by next year I’ll have made you Court Sorcerer. For now we are going to have hot, sweaty sex all night long because you really can’t argue with my logic.”

In truth, Merlin hadn’t known half of that. He hadn’t known Arthur knew about his magic or that Arthur felt just as tempted by Merlin’s covered skin as Merlin did with all of Arthur’s on display. The sex part he knew, he could never resist Arthur for very long when faced with a direct attack, it was a simple fact of his life.

Suddenly, Arthur was _right there_ , shedding his cloak and setting to work relieving Merlin of his clothes.

“These,” he said indicating Merlin’s clothes, “are going to burn at my earliest convenience and you _won’t_ be getting more.”

“Arthur! I can’t just walk around naked!”

“Why not? Morgana does it sometimes, so does Gwen. I do it all the time.” Arthur’s smug face didn’t so much as falter at Merlin’s pout.

“I want to see you, everywhere, and I want everyone to be able to look but never touch because they’ll know you’re **mine**. I want to be able to shove you into a corridor and fuck you until you can’t see straight. I want to have you sit on my lap in the throne room and ride me while I hold audiences. And don’t give me that ‘it’s indecent’ excuse Merlin. This is _Camelot_ , it’s hardly anything new.”

Merlin froze in his spot. He didn’t notice as Arthur shed his breeches and threw them into a basket. Arthur smirked, he had ordered the servants to burn anything they found in that in the morning. Those awful covering clothes would be gone by the time Merlin woke up. Arthur did after all, plan to wear him out so bad he slept til noon and then do it all over again. Finally only one strip of cloth stood between Arthur and having his filthy way with his manservant; Merlin’s small clothes.

“Merlin, just say yes.”

Arthur’s breath brushed his mouth, his hands waiting, snagged on Merlin’s small clothes for Merlin to say something. As Merlin looked up into those bright blue eyes, he knew it would have always come to this. This was who they were, Merlin and Arthur, two sides of the same coin. Always and forever bound to each other. There was only one thing he _could_ say.

“Yes.”

As Arthur finally shed him of his small clothes, he turned him around to press his front against the cold window.

“Merlin, oil.”

The smaller man let out a low whine before his eyes flashed gold and the lube flew from it’s place under his pillows into Arthur’s hand.

Arthur took him right there, pressed against the window for anyone to see.

Arthur took him again in the bed, lying on his back so they could stare into each other’s eyes. An hour later, Arthur rode Merlin’s cock until he no longer bucked beneath him and Merlin finally passed out. At last, Arthur settled half on top of his lover, head resting on Merlin’s shoulders and the fingers on his left hand reached down to explore his entrance. Just like that, Arthur Pendragon fell asleep and when the sorcerer awoke, his clothes were burning behind the kitchens. He would never again be allowed to cover his body... **ever**.

The End.

**Author's Note:**

> Come scream at me on [tumblr!](http://causteek.tumblr.com)


End file.
